I have tried different diets, supplements my mom has had me try, exercising on my own, and exercise equipment I bought that I’ve seen on commercials. I get myself motivated to try to lose weight and I end up losing that motivation and get off track.
I was a pretty skinny as a young kid while growing up. I think I started gaining weight at the age of 7 or 8 while I was in the 2nd grade. Every year I would gain a little weight but it really did not bother me until middle school. I would get very tired and get very winded after running for only a few minutes. Even though I played on the girls basketball team in 7th and 8th grade, I still had a disadvantage because I was not as fit as the other girls.
As high school came around, I started getting more and more self-conscious of my appearance. I was on another sports team and this time it was on the Girls Varsity Tennis Team during my senior year. After high school, I played on the Women’s Tennis Team at the College of DuPage during my freshman year. Sure I was overweight and bigger than the rest of the girls on the team, but I was a great hustler. I would sprint towards every ball and would usually get to it. Sometimes I would surprise my opponents, teammates, coaches, spectators, and even myself. A little over a month before Nationals in Texas I put myself on a diet on top of still playing tennis almost everyday at least 3 or 4 hours a day. I lost 20 pounds before Nationals but right after that, I stopped eating healthy and gained weight again.
I was not able to play the next year and every year after that, I played less and less tennis. My arms and legs weren’t as toned and I wasn’t as athletic. All I did was lay around and go out. I gained more and more weight and I am now at my heaviest.
My feelings and problems…
I am sick of feeling tired all the time and I am sick of feeling so self-conscious. I want to be able to not have a hard time looking for the right clothes that will look good on me. Trying to find a new outfit stresses me out because most of the time, they do not fit me or do not look right.
I know it’s not all about looks these days, but it’s hard looking for a guy while being overweight. Too many people judge on looks and not personality. But of course there has to be some attraction as well. People say it’s all about confidence but I just don’t have any. And I know as I get closer and closer to my goal weight, I’ll gain more confidence. I just want to feel better about myself.
Most importantly, I am worried about my health. I do not want to have more health problems as I get older. I do not want to have a heart attack by the age of 30. Diabetes and high blood pressure run through my family and I would like to lessen my chances by losing weight. I have Severe Sleep Apnea. For those who do not know what Sleep Apnea is; it is a sleep disorder characterized by abnormal pauses in breathing or instances of abnormally low breathing, during sleep. Each pause in breathing, called an apnea, can last from a few seconds to minutes, and may occur 5 to 30 times or more an hour. In summary, I do not get enough oxygen to my brain which makes me tired during the day and I sometimes fall asleep even while driving. It also causes me to snore very loud. I have to wear a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) to help me sleep through the night. I have to lose weight in order for me to not wear a CPAP for the rest of my life.